What Hurts the Most
by J.E.A.R.K.Potter
Summary: What hurts the most from day to day is seeing him the very same way. I want what is best for him, but what is best for me isn't the same. What hurts the most is loving him but knowing... He doesn't love me.


Story: What Hurts the Most  
Author: J.E.A.R.K.Potter (Jackie)  
Rating: M  
Disclaimer: The title of the story is a song by Rascal Flatts. I like the title and it fits this story, but in no way is it about that song. I own the plot. J.K. Rowling owns the characters and things such

as that.

Summary: What hurts the most from day to day is seeing him the very same way. I want what is best for him, but what is best for me isn't the same. What hurts the most is loving him but knowing... He doesn't love me.

A/N--This story comes from the way I am feeling now. I don't know how I'll end this, sad or happy. I will figure it out, though, when the time comes.

Chapter 1 Depression

(Hermione's POV)

It hurts. Seeing him just sitting there, reading a letter he received from her earlier, smiling when he crosses something that it funny, just... It hurts. I've kept it bottled in my heart for so long. It's   
impossible to not see that I love him. Everyone seems to know, except the one person that needs to--him. When I had the chance to tell him I love him, I should have taken it. Why did I have to be getting over Krum, though? Why why why... He said he loved him then, but... It's  
faded away, much like I am now.

"Hermione?" Harry asked, poking me in the arm. "Are you awake?"

I blinked. At first I didn't even realize he had poked me. I shook my head, and then nodded. "Yeah, I'm awake. What is it, Harry?"

"Just look like you need to talk about something. Is everything all right?"

Again, I nodded, of course lying about it this time. "Just not   
sleeping as well. I'm up, studying most of the night."

That lie was almost painful to say. It was true, I wasn't sleeping well. Madame Pomfrey had even put me on sleeping potion, to take before I went to bed. I was having nightmares of him, laughing in my face if I ever told him how much I cared. I couldn't sleep even with the potion without first crying. If only he knew how much I hurt, maybe I wouldn't cry. Yet he doesn't, so...

"You shouldn't be up that long, Mione. You'll do fine on whatever you do. Whatever you put your mind to, you can do it."

No, that's wrong. Even if I put my mind on something else, something reminds me of him. It can be the littlest thing and yet it'll draw my attention elsewhere.

"I've had a really hard time concentrating late..."

"Sorry, Mione. I got to go, though. We'll talk later, okay?" he said, got up, and patted my back.

I watched him walk out of the room, probably going to see her. I closed up my books and walked off, just leaving them there.

(Ron's POV)

I don't think Hermione realized I watched her. It's hard to see her the way she is. She's never loved someone as much as she loves him, yet there he is, ignoring the fact she's right there. I can only imagine what she's feeling...

Personally, someone needs to smack Harry. Hermione and him have always been there for each other. I don't see how he doesn't realize how she feels.

I'm hungry. I hope supper is good tonight.

(Harry's POV)

Something is up with Hermione. I have no idea what it is, though. It seems everyone else knows, except me.

I'm on my way right now to see Luna. She's wonderful. It's like she knows everything I want and when I need it. It's perfect.

Only one thing is wrong with it. Once in a while, I get flash backs to when Hermione was getting over Krum. I admitted to her how I felt, but she never said anything back. After I started to date around again, I think she tried to tell me once she loved me, too. After that she's gotten distant. Hermione was once one of my best friends, but now... She doesn't act the same around me.

I really need an advice column to tell me why I still think about Hermione, even though I know I love Luna.

(Hermione's POV)

I sat on my bed, looking through a photo album. There was plenty of my dad, my mom, me with them, and a few friends from the past. There was even one of Krum and I at the Yule Ball. I hid his face behind one of Ginny.

When I passed the one I had of just Harry and me, I started to think. I look embarrassed and he's all goofy looking. Would he act the same way if he knew he was the one I love?

I shake my head when I hear the door to dorm open. Lavender walked in and went to her bed, grabbing in her stand for something. She went the whole time of being in the room without even noticing me.

Am I becoming that invisible?

I sighed when I realized Madame Pomfrey wanted to see me before supper and it was an hour before supper. I got out of my bed and slowly walked to the hospital wing, looking at my shoes as they trudge along.

(3rd person POV)

Madame Pomfrey sat at her desk, going through some files she had received from Hermione Granger's parents. From looking at the files, she knew what she had to test Hermione for.

Hermione walked in. Madame Pomfrey noticed all the signs almost immediately. She was had purple bags under her eyes, the main reason why the sleeping potion had been prescribed to her. The paleness of her face meant she wasn't eating right. Her body didn't look weaker.   
She wore no smile, not even a frown. Her mouth just lay there.

"Come sit, Hermione," she said, pointing to the chair in front of her desk.

Hermione did as told. She looked up at the woman and gave a weak smile. "It was so hard to pull myself away from my books. NEWTs are coming..."

"Miss Granger, a few of your classmates, even a few teachers, have asked me to talk to you. They are worried about you."

"Why?"

"They say you haven't been eating right. The sleeping potion isn't working well. You've woken up from sleep crying. Having a very hard time concentrating in class... Is something bothering you?"

"Just stress, that's all, Madame Pomfrey. NEWTs have me studying every time I'm not in class or at meals. The sleeping potion is... It's going fine."

"Would you mind stepping on the scale for me?" she asked, waving her wand.

Hermione rolled her eyes. She stood up and took off her shoes and robes, then stepped up.

Madame Pomfrey looked at it.

"Miss Granger, I know you are a petite girl, but this is... Something is not right. You register to be barely 100 pounds..."

"What is wrong with that?"

"A girl of you size should way well over 120 pounds."

"100 isn't that bad. I've seen many people my size a lot smaller than I am, Madame Pomfrey."

The doctor just shook her head. "I'm going to give you some medication, Miss Granger. And ask that you come and talk to me at least once a week. Keep a food diary, recording what you eat and when you exercise. This could be very serious, Miss Granger, unless the problem you're having doesn't get solved."

Hermione put back on her things. She just stared blankly at the woman and reached out her hand. Madame Pomfrey places a bottle of pills in her hands.

"One a day when you wake up should start to balance things out."

Hermione nodded and walked out of the room.

(Hermione's POV)

Yes, there is a problem. I know I haven't been eating or sleeping right. I know I know I know! It's not something I can fix. It's not like I can fall out of love with my best friend! I wish this pain would all just go away...

END OF CHAPTER!

It's a little screwed up, I know. It'll develop more, though... Please review!


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